ian_never_wrong | Can we get a Clu in time? - a PSL for Clu and the QL team

Ian's jaw was practically on the floor watching it appear. For once they were struck speechless. "I would say this was impossible, except that I now handle the impossible on a daily basis," they finally mentioned before taking the offered booklet. They flipped through it absently spot checking, nodding in some places, shaking their head at errors in others "Well sure, you could use that one if you wanted to make the game even harder," was muttered at one point. And then on the last page... they actually burst out into a small surprised laugh.

Clu gave a wry smile. "Yeah, I've had to drastically alter my parameters for deeming something 'impossible' too since I arrived in the User world," he said. Of course Nautilus tended to have that affect on everyone, but still... "I've found that a lot of things are defined as 'impossible'... until someone does them."

Overall, the User seemed satisfied with the results, up until the end when something apparently struck them as amusing. "Hmm? What's so funny?"

"Yes, Ian, what exactly is so funny?"

"Ohhhh she's ticked...." Ian said softly as Jenn stepped out of the shadows and stalked down the hall towards them, clearly armed.

"Why are you standing here talking to a intruder, instead of taking the intruder into custody?!"

Ian looked down at themself, then all the way up at Clu before looking back at Jenn. "I kept our visitor here. But I think we all need to listen to..."

"Once the intruder is disarmed and in custody perhaps," Jenn said.

Ian glanced down at the cheat guide then an amused smile graced their lips. Well... this would be interesting.

Oh yes, this woman was definitely security. Even if he hadn't already been informed she was on the way, the attitude and mannerisms were unmistakable. Clu put his hands back up, once again indicating his non-threatening status with a sheepish expression. "I thought their method of keeping me here and occupied was pretty effective, actually," he said. "And probably the safest method available, given that they don't seem to be a security type themselves." The User- apparently named Ian- had been nothing but reasonable so far, given the circumstances, so it was only right that he return the favor.

"In any case, as I told them, I'm not here to cause trouble. But since I doubt you'll take my word for that, I'll prove it, starting by going with you peacefully."

"Good," she said a bit sharply. "Then follow me and we'll see if we can't get this all sorted out in time for some of us to get the sleep they were supposed to be getting already."

"It is a good thing I was here, as it turns out. Besides, if I had gone home I would hav just ben up all night online anyway." Watching highlights of Gia's game.

"You know that whole speech? About needing rest? He wasn't just speaking to her, you now." She led them to one of the small conference rooms where they had held Janis for a while. She pointed to a seat. "Sit. Speak."

"Woof," Ian muttered under their breath.

Clu resisted the urge to snicker at Ian's quiet comment. It was amusing to him, but not for reasons that were at all relevant. And now certainly wasn't the time in any case.

Instead he obediently sat down at the table, making sure to keep his hands in view. "Fair warning, what I'm about to tell you will be hard to believe," he said. "But I'm more than willing to provide evidence to back it up, as I was in the process of doing with Ian when you walked in." Clu then reiterated what he'd told Ian about himself, Nautilus, and how and why he'd come to be in their facility, then awaited Jenn's reaction.

Jenn leaned back against the door as she listened. "You're right it is hard to believe, but let's pretend I'm willing to play along. This Bending thing, let's see you create what I ask for. Winning lotto ticket for tomorrow... well tonight's now, drawing." She glanced at Ian's face. "What? You start by wishing Buffy was here or something?"

"Actually they asked for all the cheat codes to a video game called Dark Souls up until User year 2018," Clu said. "Which I provided, though I can't vouch for the accuracy of all the codes the booklet contains, since I was nowhere near a game grid at that time. Similarly, I don't have the predictive algorithms necessary to guarantee any lottery tickets I'd bend up for you would contain the winning numbers, though I'll do my best. As I understand it though, there are multiple drawings, even within the same sector. Do you want a specific one, or simply one of each?"

Edited 2023-06-18 09:44 (UTC)

"I mean, if you're rally a computer program, would it b harder to make one ticket for each possible number combination for each game?"

"Jenn!" Ian said, shocked.

"What? He's clearly not a government resource. And this way a predictive algorithm doesn’t matter."

Clu actually smiled at that, amused at her solution. "Judging by Ian's reaction, I somehow doubt the other User authorities would appreciate your hack attempt," he said. "But if you want this room to be full of small pieces of paper, I'm willing to oblige."

"I'm a hacker, it's what I do. Besides, I wanna see if you even can." She stepped away from the door.

"And if you get arrested for fraudulent lotto tickets?" Magic asked as h slid through the door she vacated, Addison behind him.

"Spoil sport," she said, hopping up onto the desk.

And judging by Jenn's reaction, the dark-skinned man who'd just entered must be her superior, possibly the facility's admin. The other woman's function was unknown, but something about her manner also suggested security, though not as aggressively as Jenn's. Perhaps the admin's lieutenant? Ah well, he expected he'd find out as the conversation continued.

"Greetings," Clu said to the two newcomers. "To potentially save some time, have you already heard my explanation of why and how I'm here? If not, I'll explain again, so we're all working from the same datafile."

"Oh we heard, no worry about that," Magic said. "Jenn kept her phone live, but we did miss the demonstration. Perhaps one that isn't a felony, however," he said, helping himself to a seat.

Clu nodded, but rather than asking for particular requests this time, instead opted to simply Bend something that would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to carry around hidden. Placing one palm flat on the table, he focused for a moment, then digital wireframes took form in front of both himself and Magic, plus three more identical ones slightly off to one side on the table. A moment later, and the wireframes filled in, gaining form and solidity.

In front of both Clu and Magic were chocolate milkshakes in tall glasses, complete with straws and a dollop of whipped cream on top. And three more sitting nearby on the table. "Chocolate milkshakes," he identified them, in case there was any doubt. "I Bent enough for everyone."

"Now this is my kind of proof," Ian said, grabbing one and sliding it closer.

"You don't know if that is poisoned!" Jenn protested. She didn't even bother to say "no offense" to Clu.

"If our new friend wanted us dead so badly, pretty sure I'd be already dead. But if you'r so worried... I'll have yours too." And they pulled over a second.

Jenn glared. "Fine, but if you die of food poisoning, I'm not giving you mouth to mouth."

"Actually," Addy said breaking in, "That would b a stomach pump and induced vomiting. But if we could get back on track here?"

"Right," Magic said. He turned to Clu. "You said you're here investigating to see if we're some sort of... flaw, was it? Well now that you can see nothing is broken, why exactly are you still here? Not like we could stop you if you left the way you arrived."

Clu briefly gave Jenn a look at the implications of that; he didn't quite roll his eyes but it was close. Most of the reason he didn't was that he knew she was just performing her function; he couldn't really fault security for acting like security, but that didn't mean it wasn't annoying sometimes. "Yeah, even if I actually wanted to harm any of you, that's not my style," he said. "Besides, any hacker who needs to cause unnecessary damage to accomplish a task is just bad at their job."

Anyway, back to the point. Clu took a sip of his own milkshake before replying to the admin. He nodded his confirmation that he had the correct term , then said, "A few reasons actually. First, I'm not quite done; I was going in close for a final scan when Ian spotted me and interrupted it. Second, up til now at least, because I wanted to explain to all of you. If I'd fled, you'd have all assumed that I was actually a threat, and it would have likely caused a huge disruption even after I was gone. Just being reasonable and explaining things solves that problem, and prevents Jenn from losing any more downtime than necessary. Besides, on a personal level, when I cause a disruption, I like it to be on purpose; since I did it by accident, minimizing the trouble and offering an explanation is just polite."

"And the third reason is that I shouldn't even be detectable while visiting a world like yours unless I deliberately try to be, but something about this anomaly overrode that without me even realizing it at first. I want to find out why that happened and how to prevent it from happening again if I ever encounter any similar anomalies. All of you have been pretty reasonable about this, all factors considered, but others might not be, and I'd like to avoid potential future problems if I can."

Edited 2023-06-21 04:50 (UTC)

"So... you want to use us as an experiment so that you can hav an easier time in the future?" Addy asked, crossing her arms.

"What?!", Clu said, his voice actually going up an octave in surprise at the implication. "No! I just meant that I was planning to stick around until I figured it out, that's all. If anything, I'll be experimenting with myself; I might have to tweak a bit of my coding to manage it. I won't know for sure until I can figure out what aspect of the anomaly is causing it in the first place though."

Edited 2023-06-21 08:04 (UTC)

"Well if anyone here knows coding, Ian is the one. But a lot of what we do here is classified, and we can't just let you poke around, you understand. We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. You included."

"Speak for yourself," Jenn muttered.

"Not to point out the obvious," Addy said, "But Ian doesn't exactly have time to play babysitter."

"True," Magic said. "But I don't see we have much choice at the moment. We can hardly arrest someone for trespassing who can vanish at will, conjure up whatever they wish, and doesn't seem inclined to leave."

Hearing that he was effectively surrounded by classified data would have been tempting under other circumstances, and still was a bit if he was being honest with himself. But despite what Jenn apparently thought of him, he had no intention of causing them any more trouble than he already had just by his presence.

"Honestly once I finish my scans it'll mostly just be a lot of data analysis and I could do that pretty much anywhere, including this room, if that would make things easier for all of you," he said. "I've got no intention of getting underfoot or digging into your files. And I don't want to take Ian- or any of you, really- away from your normal functions any more than I already have, but I understand if you feel it's necessary to have someone watching me. It likely won't be too exciting though; watching someone going through scan data doesn't exactly make for riveting entertainment after all."

"Before that though, I did offer to let Ian examine my disc- this here-," he turned slightly in the chair to indicate the ring-shaped object docked on his back-, "as proof of both my story and my intentions. They wanted to wait until Jenn was present though, which is reasonable. The offer still stands, and since since this would provide not just Jenn but all of you a chance to observe, if you're willing, I can undock it and let them do so now."

"If I didn't enjoy data analysis I'd be a completely different person," Ian said, mildly amused. "Besides, writing programs to so...." Ian stopped themself and winced. "Ah, question. If you are a program... was I just about to accidentally be horribly offensive?"

Yes, the disc conversation was side-railed by Ian's determination to not other or offend someone else as they had been othered and offended.

"I am a program, and no you weren't," Clu assured them. "Programs are written by Users to assist them in a variety of ways, each according to their individual functions. The only programs who might take offense to that fact being acknowledged are the likes of the MCP and his cronies, and trust me, if you ever met any of them you wouldn't be worried about offending them. Thank you for asking though."

"One thing you do want to avoid is asking a program directly who their User is though. It's a question that has a great deal of weight to it for us for a variety of reasons, and is really only used in certain specific circumstances. Otherwise, the name of a program's User is something that can be given, but shouldn't be demanded."

"Interesting," Ian said. "And perhaps as odd to me as somethings about me are as odd to others.I will do my very best to be respectful, please let me know if I fail, and I'll work on it, alright?"

Can we get a Clu in time? - a PSL for Clu and the QL team

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